Ultimate “Friends” Fan (Yes that TV show that ended almost 10 years ago.)


I was graduating high school when Friends aired the pilot show. And while I wasn’t immediately hooked, by season 3 or 4 I was absolutely hooked. I couldn’t be anywhere on a Thursday night at 7 pm, unless I went to a friend’s house, sat in front of their TV, and watched the best and greatest show of all time. I watched faithfully until the season ended when I sat in glum and despair and agony. I may have even welled up. (Cheri don’t cry.)

So here is a list of things that may make you the ultimate friends fan like me.

I can’t help but to say things exactly like this…

1. When ever you say shoe it always comes out… “My shoe!”

2. You can’t move a couch (or most any big heavy item) without saying… “Piv-ot, piv-ot, piv-ot”

3. When someone asks you for advice your response is…

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4. When you do Joey’s “How you doin’?” impression, you do it in Rachel’s baby voice…

5. When someone drops a sock, you tell them like this…

6. When you know something, you say it like this…

7. You probably do this entirely too much…

8. When you are reassuring someone of your well-being…

9. Everything is gooood…

10. No. Comes out like this…

or this…

11. And this is how you feel in certain points of your day…

12. And this is what you say every time something is unbelievable…

13. You may say something along these lines when someone tells you a secret you already knew…

14. When someone is saying something mean or trying to hurt your feelings, you pretend to cry then say…

15. When someone tries to eat your food…

16. You greet people like this…

17. You start sentences with “Could I be…”…

18. When something is wrong…

19. You use air quotes anytime you say I’m sorry…

20. And finally you probably say this anytime you can or for no particular reason at all…

Note: Gifs and videos are not mine. I found them on the internet and did not ask permissions to use them.

Am I proud of my kid’s report cards?


It’s the end of the quarter and all over Facebook and Twitter you see report cards.  Or comments about a child’s grades.

Am I proud of my kid’s report cards or grades? Short answer. NO.

Is it because they are failing? NO.    Only brought home average grades? No.

Actually my two high school kids have honor roll type grades.  My kindergartener who gets satisfactory and needs improvement type marks has earned both of those marks.  So no I’m not “unproud” or dismayed by bad grades.

My problem with all this hype and why I don’t get into it is, I expect this of my kids.  All of them are past the clap your hands because they did something great stage.  I am no longer proud that they eat with a fork or use a toilet everyday.  And to me, school marks follow in the what’s expected of you category.  Even if my kids do the horrid catastrophic event of bringing home a failing grade they do not get grounded or disciplined. We may have a conversation about it, usually initiated by them. “Mom I got a C- or a D on my Math test.  I completely do not get this and I have talked to my teacher or I am looking for help.”  They have already saw the problem and thought of how to resolve the problem before I have even seen the bad grade.  And in cases were we have to have a conversation about a bad grade they do not get disciplined UNLESS, they have utterly not tried and have no remorse or care about said bad grade.  If this is the case they get to take up hard manual labor, to learn what they will be doing for the rest of their life if “book learning” isn’t their forte.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Well, you have students that have good grades and like school. Um, you would be wrong. My oldest who graduated last year did not have an easy time at school and did not make good grades. I have a blog here somewhere about my hair pulling, tears flowing, hellacious 13 years of his school life.

Was I proud he graduated? Yes.  Will I be proud of all my kids graduating? Yes.  I am not however going to wax poetic every quarter about grades they are supposed to achieve in the first place.  Nor do I wax poetic about the “high times” my daughter achieves on the counter at the fast food joint she works at. She comes home and tells me how well she did. And I smile and say great job. I am proud that she takes pride in her school work and her job.  I am not hanging report cards on display or rewarding them in anyway.  Other than a verbal encouragement and a smile.

I am in the rather short group of people who do not believe in paying or rewarding kids for living life.  My kids have “expectancies” (not a word maybe, but I don’t like the word chores). They have to do things expected of them, these things are not fun sometimes, these things are hard work sometimes, these things are a part of living. They have to be done on a day to day basis to keep up with this thing we call life. Their reward? Living and breathing. They don’t get paid, or encouraged, or congratulated. They do get loved and cared for and in return love and care for each other. 

What do we expect of our kids you may ask?  Or think, poor kids, they must work them like slaves!  Our kids are expected to cook, clean and maintain this house in which they live. Including chopping and stacking wood to keep it warm. They are expected to go to school and learn, be respectful and act with proper decorum. And to keep a positive attitude, no not all the time, but for the most part.  When they do any of these things they do not get paid, or standing ovations or even a pat on the back.

HOWEVER!  If they go above and beyond something or get some kind of special post or letter or something from a teacher or someone they are working for they may get a reward of some kind.  If they help us work in any of the three businesses we currently operate they do get paid.  Money or in the form of something they have been wanting.

So am I proud of my kids?  Heck yes!  I have great kids, (Even my son who did poorly in school since K grade. He tried ((hard!!! and he struggled hard!!!)) and that’s what mattered. He graduated and that’s what mattered.) They work hard. The do what is expected of them.  Their grades?  Sure, they do supper in school. I do not even anticipate report card time. I keep up with their grades through them (or the teacher of the youngest one) during the school year. Most of the time their cards sit unopened when they arrive in the mail. We already know what’s in them. (Even when my son was in school…. We knew what his was going to say…

Our kids know that we our proud of them.  They know that we love them, even when they are fist-cuffing in the hallway, and I have to bring them to their knees by doing the ear twist maneuver. (Yes, that would be my two teenage girls.)  Our kids know what we expect of them.  The two youngest may still be learning what is (or will be for Ce) expected in school.  She is learning quick though. She shows off her work and throws it in the trashcan just like she should. (I have 5 kids and I have a terrible phobia of clutter. We DO NOT save things around here!)  She doesn’t expect special treats or prizes for jobs well done.  She has pride in herself for her accomplishments.  And that’s good enough for her.  And it works for me.

 

I sigh…


     My day started at 5:26 am. My 14 year old daughter wakes me to say, “Hey, have you seen my backpack?”  My sleepy brain barely registers this and I answer a foggy, “No.”

Ten minutes later, she returns. “Mom, I can’t find it. I have important stuff in it!” The half plea, half panic, half about to cry in her voice registers this time. I wake up fully. “Ok, I help you look.”

We go thru the house and look, including upstairs, thoroughly. I tell her to go check her sister’s car.  She comes back in, “It wasn’t in there, and my ride to cross country practice is here. If you find it, send it with Jocelynn to school.”

You might assume I would go back to sleep for an hour until I need to get up and help the kindergartner in our house get ready. However, you would be wrong.  I know what’s in that folder, and among her homework, which is important, she also had money.  She sold doughnuts for a fund raiser and the envelope of money was in there.

I begin a very, very through search through the house, and two cars, just in case.  I wake up everyone, including my very grouchy husband who fell asleep in the chair in the living room last night. He woke up grouchy because I left him in the chair and didn’t even take his boots off. (Yeah different post, for sure!) 

In my frantic flights through all the rooms, growing more so by the minute, he finally asks me what I’m doing. I respond, “Looking for money in a folder, Daisy lost it!”  His response, “Well, that’s convenient…” Which for some reason just enflamed me more!  I don’t know what he was implying and didn’t stick around to find out.

I headed to the school, it was now a little after 6:30. I decided she had definitely left it there. I interrupted her whole team during practice, and pulled her coach away to let me in the school. While dressed in appropriate clothing, I hadn’t even bothered to tame my wild curly hair.

The coach, the custodian, Daisy and I marched thru the school. With most of her cross county team following behind. Get to her locker, open it up. There it is! The back pack I have been searching for!! “There ya go, Daisy! I knew it must be here!”

“No, Mom. I am missing my folder, I didn’t bring my backpack home yesterday.” She even looked me in the eye, while saying this.

I did not curse or throw everything out of her locker onto the floor in a tantrum to rival any two year olds. 

The custodian saved her, he not catching my barely controlled rage, says “Why don’t I let you in your last class of the day? You can check there.”

Off they go. I turn to her coach and thru my teeth say, “She’ll be going home with me. So sorry to disrupt your whole team and training.”

Marched down to a class room and told Daisy to “Come on!”

I lecture (insert scream and yell) at her all the way home. About responsibilities, about keeping up with stuff, and mostly about telling her that I need to know exactly what it is that I am supposed to be looking for.

We get home, she goes up stairs in tears, because I am a horrible raging, angry mother who drags her out of practice and tells everyone she is going home because she is irresponsible. (Yes I did say that.)

She comes down with that beautiful, dog eared, rolled up like a magazine, wrinkled …. folder.

She had let her little sister sleep on her bottom bunk bed, and she was laying on it. That sister had since come downstairs on my third or fourth trip through Daisy’s room  looking for it. I however had been looking for a cream colored medium sized backpack..

I sigh…

 

 

Sleep… Over-rated or Coveted? Or just in general a sleep jerk?


Sleep in the Burnett household has many ranges. With 2 adults, 3 teenagers and 2 children/tots. It isn’t hard to find someone sleeping, or not sleeping when they should be.

The sleeper ~ that’s ME

I LOVE sleep! I could sleep 12 hours and be completely refreshed and awesome feeling.  I could sleep all night and all day! I could sleep all the time!  I normally get about 6 hours because I need that much to at least carry out normal living functions.  I however can not sleep anywhere but my bed. I also have the princess in the pea syndrome, if there is a grain of salt or sand in my bed, on my sheets, under my sheets, heck under the bed! It will keep my awake and irritate me.  If my pj’s don’t fit just right and get twisted or turned, it will keep me up. If I’m cold, it will keep me up. If I’m hot, it will keep me up. If there is a new annoying tick or drip in the house, IT WILL KEEP ME UP. You get the picture, I need to be comfy and undistracted.

On the other hand it is very hard for me to get to sleep. My brain is always fussing over some story I could be writing or thinking over something that I could/need to be doing. Or making lists for the next day. Did you notice I didn’t say worrying.  I’m blessed, I don’t worry over things. Someone else is worrying for me I’m sure.

In general my bedtime routine is get in bed and flip the TV over to Nick at Nite, Friends is on for two straight hours. I was just the right age when this show aired, watched it thru it’s entirety, bought the seasons as they came out. I am a Friends master! If I have a bad headache I can mute it, because I know what they are saying.  Anyway if I am lucky I will be asleep in that time span. However, if  “HE” happens to be going to bed at the same time, (I’ll get to him next) I don’t watch Friends, because I don’t want to hear his snide comments, he HATES the show.  Unless I am particularly perturbed with him, then oh the show is on! ;) If I’m not perturbed, then I just let him find something to watch then 5 minutes later I flip it back over, because the jerk is already asleep!

Neither am I a morning person, but we will save that for a later post…

The Sleep Jerk ~ that would be HE

He-who-must-Not-Be-Named doesn’t need sleep. He can go to bed at 1 am and hop out of a bed at 4 am. Or he can go to bed at 4am and hop out of bed at 6am. He requires about 3 or 4 hours a night. That is it. He works long hours into the night. And I suppose he just falls into bed exhausted.  \

Not only does he not need sleep, he can go to sleep at the drop of a hat. According to him however, he is an insomniac! (He thinks this because he doesn’t NEED sleep and if he happens to have nothing to occupy him >read work< then he can get to sleep because he had required 2/3 hour nap already at some point)

He can come in and sit down to watch the news before dinner and fall asleep! He can sit down after he eats and fall asleep! In fact, he has fallen asleep at my mothers with plate in lap and soda in hand! (Big family, not everyone fits at the table) And then after he has a little cat nap, he’s good! He doesn’t even need sleep for the rest of the night!  And on the nights I can’t sleep he snores, loud, and annoyingly. And annoyingly LOUD! Shoving and turning and pinching his nose has no effect. Neither does shoving him out of bed, which I’m proud to say I’ve only done once in the 20 years or so that we have shared the same bed. Unbelievable, right? Anyway enough about the annoying sleep jerk, I obviously have some issues with it/him. But whatever…

Here he is asleep, on a couch, with soda in hand… It happens a lot.

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I’m only teasing for the serious readers…  ;) I love the big sleep jerk, else I wouldn’t keep him around, and we can’t all be perfect.

…Notice I didn’t say nobodies perfect?

The Typical Teen ~ Seth

He stays up late. He sleeps in. He needs sleep. But he doesn’t want to go to sleep anytime soon. He thinks the day was made for sleeping. It takes about an hour or more to get him up and get him downstairs. I suspect he is a little like me in the can’t function under six hour department. But somehow he manages, oh so sloooowly… He is also not a morning person.

The Princess ~ Jocey

This one needs her beauty sleep, if she has to be up early, she will go to bed early.  If she doesn’t have to get up early she will still go to bed early. And to top it off she is a morning person!! Yuck! I will stop now before I change her title to the annoying one…

The can’t make up her mind sleeper ~ Daisy

This girl has three beds in her room. A set of bunk beds and a full size bed, which I moved out of the girls room because they sleep together anyway for now. And most nights you find her on the couch! She reminds me of a puppy, she has to flip and flop and move and rotate everything see needs around her for … honestly I don’t know for what reason.  All this is happening right over my head! And even though we insulated between the ceiling and floor for just this reason, it still sounds like someone is going to come crashing thru at any moment. Also not a morning person.

Lastly we come to the Sleepless Zombies ~ Ru and Ce

I have a whole lot of Facebook posts I need to compile someday. They are currently, finally, before I pulled all my hair out, sleeping all night long. (Thank the Good Lord! and supplement makers. And my Alaskan friends who gave me so much advice. It stays light in Alaska for 2 months or so incase your are forgetting. Which can mess with sleep cycles. And my Alaskan friends were informative and very, very helpful!)

Ru has her Dad’s sleep habits but I think she is even more extreme. She can sleep two hours and then be up for fourteen or longer. Then sleep for two more and be up for fourteen again. You try and put those into a 24 hour clock were normal people function.  Ruthie is mostly a morning person, but she can find that wrong side of the bed.

Ce on the other hand sleeps about four hours then she is up for about 12 or so hours. And she is not a morning person. And you can’t really wake her up if she isn’t ready. You just have to dress her and then carry her around.

Either way they don’t have the normal patterns of preschoolers and now Ru will be starting school in the fall.  We still have problems with them staying up all night, if they for some reason fall asleep in the afternoon. But it is not an every night ordeal anymore.  And if I see them so much as slowly close an eye, it’s park time, or take a walk outdoors in the sunshine time. I do anything I can to keep them up until at least 8:30 and the sleep until 7ish. With only a couple middle of the night get ups.

I definitely covet Sleep! How about you?

Family dinners, why do I bother?


The family dinner table, it’s a place to interact, connect, communicate, learn, and teach.

My family interacts to much, connects to literally, communicates to loudly, and I have yet to see what is learnt or taught…

Kidding they have grasped something at least, I can eat with them publicly without being embarrassed, well at least not much. And it generally isn’t the kids manners, it’s HE’s mouth and the running of it, to any close diner that will listen. 

I love to cook and prepare meals. I love to fancy up the table and eat with napkins on a Tuesday night just for fun.  Alas, my family does not appreciate this. They think it’s more important to laugh and play and have fun during the dinner meal. While I have visions of them tucking their napkins in their laps, no elbows and laying their utensils across the top edge of the plate while they chew their food. All the while carrying on a conversation with dignity and decorum.  The reality is they are arguing over who said what or who did what or what actually happened when. Or clamoring to tell the funny story that happened. Making crude jokes. Sharing inappropriate information for the dinner table, or little sisters ears. And in general poking and pestering each other.  Pretty much acting like my family usually does.

My stand out crazy family dinner story is what I now (somewhat fondly) think of as, The Rock Cornish Game Hen Incident…

Image I snagged this off the internet, but mine was just as pretty and delicious looking.  I set the table with placemats, napkins and the “good” dishes.  I “plated” the meal.  I took every care to make sure it was perfect and delicious. I even dressed up!  And do you know what my family did, do you know how they repaid my hard work and effort for the perfect meal?

Exactly! They stuck the chickens on their hands and walked them around! They danced them together, and talked for them in creepy high pitched chicken voices! They made a travesty out of my fancy dinner! They acted like immature pre-teens,(which they were, well all but the oldest of them, the one that isn’t a kid at all!)!

I ended up leaving the table before I thumped those chickens on the head, and I don’t mean the game hens…

And this brings me to the reason for the post, last night during a crazy dinner I thought about pulling out the phone and taking some pictures, or video, to commemorate a crazy dinner.

HE and Daisy were having a tickle war. Jocey was barking or growling at Ce, and Ce was laughing uproariously about it.  Ruthie was singing and humming and talking to herself, happy because Daddy let her sit in his seat at the head of the table.  Seth was blithely ignoring them all, and texting or doing something not normally allowed, by HE not me. All the while I was calmly eating the meal I fixed, wondering why I even bother…

Still wish, now, that I had taken pics of the Cornish Incident.  At the time I probably would have flung the camera at their heads.  We did have manners 101 after that meal fiasco.

I continue to take care of my table in hopes that we will all sit and be decorous at it someday…

 

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My Candy Crush Saga Addiction


 

Yup this post is dedicated to all the things I have done (or not done) all the while I was trying to beat that next level of candy crush…

Currently on 388, btw…

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First off I have burned dinner several times over. Not just a little seared, dump it out and have cereal for supper kinda burned.  Or just skipped dinner and let them fix their own cereal…

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I have made my friend and my kids play candy crush. No they don’t play the game. I just log into their account so I can send myself lives or tickets…

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I hum the tune, and say “Tasty!” “Sweet!” and “Sugar crush!” entirely to much. And now it’s so bad that I leave the music muted and still have the tune in my head and say the words at the appropriate times.

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I have stayed up way to late to be anything more than a zombie the next morning…

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But for all my friends who are also addicted….

 

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And a few tips for the newbies

1. This ain’t bejeweled! Do not crush candy willy-nilly. You have a limited number of moves on most levels, think and plan them out.

2. Look for special pieces. But don’t use them right away. Strive for combo trades. My personal fav is the striped/color bomb.  It is generally the most effective for any level. I also love the color bomb/color bomb but it is a rarity that I can make it, unless it’s a tri-color level.

3. Work on corners first if the level is all jelly.

4. If you have a lot of ice or chocolate, work on clearing a good space in order to make combos.

5. Try not to throw your phone or laptop. And keep the curse words under your breathe when small children are present.

 

 

Things my kids are NEVER allowed to do…


While I am in general an easy going person, I have a small list of things my kids aren’t or have they ever been allowed to do. Most of these things other kids do on a daily basis. I just don’t practically care about these activities.  You will be in major trouble if you do any of these because they irritate me and I’m the Mom. (A little taste of why H-W-M-N-B-N insists I’m the mean one.) I just don’t see the point behind these activities/games and they really, really put me in a bad mood.

The slug bug game.
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I hate this game! It is pointless. It leads to further punching and fights. And I do not need any extra fighting added to my car trips. If we were headed to meet the queen, and you start the slug bug game, I will turn the car around and we WILL go home!                         I will add the yellow “yogurt” car game to this. And then fighting over whether the car is really yellow or not.

No wrestling.
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I do not allow wrestling of any form or fashion. Nope. Not even THUMB wrestling. I do not allow H-W-M-N-B-N to wrestle with the kids either. Not even a keep away kind of wrestle. If someone steals a hat and won’t let you have it back, kind of thing. No wrestling here at all.

No screaming.

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If you are screaming you better have a limb hanging or being drug off by some kidnapper. End of story.

Scaring of any kind is strictly prohibited.

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My son is the main culprit of this, and as he has gotten older he scares us more, because he cares less about the consequences.  I hate to be scared, and even if I know you are there I still jump five feet into the air.

 

I was having trouble coming up with a few more to lengthen this, so I asked my daughter. She insisted I added this.

No singing.

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I didn’t realize that I don’t allow singing. Apparently I don’t, she says every time she sings I tell her to knock it off.

So there you have it. I’m sure these are perfectly acceptable behaviors in your home. But in mine it is not.

Do you have any strictly prohibited activities in your home (or car)?